Cyber Bullying Physically and Emotionally Hurt

Cyber-bullying has been the new way for bullies to get their satisfaction with little to no effort, without leaving their keyboard and with little to no physical confrontation. Cyber-bullying can be described as “an aggressive, intentional act or behavior that is carried out by a group or an individual, using electronic forms of contact, repeatedly and over time against a victim who cannot easily defend him or herself”. With cyber-bullying, bullies can go onto social media sites and do a number or things to not only bully that individual alone, but to bully that one person to where everyone else can see it. This would include posting rumors, threats, sexual remarks, a victim’s personal information, or pejorative labels. Cyberbullying may be more harmful than traditional bullying, because there is no escaping it. One of the most damaging effects is that a victim begins to avoid friends and activities, which is often the very intention of the bully. Studies have shown that bullies lack prosocial behavior, are untroubled by anxiety, and do not understand others' feelings. They misread the intentions of others, often imputing hostility in neutral situations. They typically see themselves quite positively.

I was able to do a personal interview with a well-known friend of mine, Cj Allen, that I knew was personally bullied in school. I stared the interview very basic asking questions to just get things started, first question “were you bullied in school?” Cj’s response was “my early years in school, no. bullying didn’t start until about the eighth grade, I remember I had art class and was always criticized by the classmate that sat next to me, he would always make fun of the project I was working on. I remember we were making clay figurines and before we were finished with them and about to put them into the kiln he smashed mine to nothing. I was devastated.” Next question was “how did bullying affect you through your high school years?” his answer was “I didn’t really understand bullying when the whole art class situation was happening, in high school is when I got my real taste of bullying. I had a small circle of friends that I felt like I fit in with, but no knowing my friends we also the ones being bullied. We would get pushed down in the hallway, get our lunch trays flipped out of our hands before we could eat, pulled into the bathrooms and punched and kicked. I remember one time I was in class and I sat next to a female I really liked but never worked up the nerve to talk to her, someone in the class tied my belt loop to the chair without me knowing then proceeded to push me out of the chair to where my pants fell to my ankles in front of the whole class, everyone started laughing directly at me, including the girl I liked. That was the worst experience I’ve ever had.” My last question was “how did bullying in school affect who you are today?” his response was “I have social anxiety, I have a hard time talking to anyone new, I still have my friends but if they invite me anywhere I have to know where it is, if there is going to be a crowd I usually come up with an excuse why I can’t go. I have no self-esteem and no confidence in myself. I fear rejection and cannot force myself to talk to anyone I am interested in.” Now when I say that this person was well-know, I mean that I’ve known him for years, But I’ve never known it to this extent. Not only has this interview opened my eyes to bullying in a new perspective, its shown me that you can know someone for years and they can never fully open up to you because of an act of hatred.

I know that for the ones doing the bullying it’s a form of release, a way to show their power and make them feel like they have control over a situation when they don’t have control over other aspects in their life, but they are doing more harm to others than they think they are. Bullying has been a social issue for a while, and more than likely will continue to be an issue for years to come, but there are ways to prevent if not stop bullying all together. The most obvious way is for parents to change the way they parent their children at home, of course every parent is different and its a lot easier said than done. As I stated before most bullies come from homes where the parents fight a lot and physical punishment is used and children have been taught that being physical is the way to handle problems. Effective discipline, boundaries and early intervention are the best ways to stop bullying, but either way that won’t change the bully’s home. Nowadays most schools have a program for bullying that involve counseling by their peers, principal or the school counselor, one way to improve this would be to get the parent involved in the program with the facility. Teachers are more likely to see bullying happen before it escalates to something more severe, the teachers that witness this bullying should get involved and work with the students on bullying. Children understand role-playing and modeling, action out bullying situations is a very effective tool to help prevent bullying outside of the classroom. I feel like since bullying has become such a social issue many schools have adopted the ideal to help prevent it before it starts, and I feel most schools should adopt a zero-tolerance policy against bullying.

In conclusion, bullying is not acceptable in any way shape or form. Personally being a victim of bullying as well as many that I know, it forces people into depression and destroys ones self-esteem and self-worth. Bullying is everywhere you go, anywhere from severely seeing physical abuse to as little as seeing someone drop papers and be called a “loser”. It may seem meaningless or like it won’t affect the person coming from the bully but it leads the victim to issues further down the road. Issues that take years and even professional help to get over, even issues that will never be able to overcome. It forces children to not want to go to school because of it, ending their own lives because of the torture. There is no reason any child or anyone in general should be bullied. How someone could be so heartless as to continuously physically and emotionally hurt someone is beyond me. I just can't fathom it.

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