I am Proud to be me

I often reflect on what it is that makes me who I am, and how that makes me different from everyone else around me. Who am I? As far as anyone could tell, this question is seemingly easy and simple to answer. I would say that my name is Eunice Anne C. Viray. I was born to two Filipino parents. I am 18 years old and I am a college freshman. But does that really define all that I am? How can such a simple question demand such a complex answer? Well I like to think that I am a lot of things, but I am also one thing. I am an ordinary human being, made up of quite remarkable qualities and imperfections with an ongoing story of experiences to tell the world.

I grew up in a small, wooden and concrete house with my parents and my two younger sisters. Looking back at it now, we did not have very much. At the time, I was too young to understand what challenges my parents had to face with trying to raise us and keep a roof over our heads. Due to the fact that they had to work a lot, I was raised by other family members, but mostly by my Uncle Jun, whom I have considered as a father figure. I would normally only get to see my parents in the evening and it was usually when I was about to go to bed. Nonetheless, my family raised my sisters and I to become strong, kind, hardworking, and God-fearing individuals. Growing up, I was taught to be a good person despite of anything and to be appreciative of what I have. My uncle is a very generous person. He told me that giving is better than receiving and that I should share my blessings. It was not right to be greedy. Going through rough times should not make you turn into a terrible, selfish person. He would always offer a helping hand or gave whatever he could whenever someone needed it. My Uncle Jun was such a big hearted person who kept a positive outlook on life even when it treated him unfairly. I wanted to be just like him and so I did. He taught me that having little did not mean I had to be selfish when I had a lot. He shaped me into the kind-hearted and generous person I am today. Because of him, I learned how to overcome challenges positively and to help others whenever I could.

I like to think that life faces us with challenges that help shape us to become better versions of ourselves. Life puts us up with these difficult times to test our resiliency, and to help us realize what our true strengths and capabilities are. My resiliency was tested three months before my 14th birthday. With no absolute reason to what may have caused it, I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes (also known as Juvenile Diabetes). At that point, I thought my life was over. What kid would want to grow up having to manually inject insulin into their body just to eat and to live a longer life? I felt cheated on because I did not know what was coming and how I would have been able to prevent it. My own immune system basically betrayed me, and I had no choice but to accept it and move on. I did not feel like a normal teenager anymore. As time passed, managing diabetes started to become difficult and tiring. I began to lose faith in my religion and felt anger towards God for allowing this to happen to me. Discouraged, I stopped going to church and my mom had noticed, so she asked my godmother to come visit me. Upon her visit, she pulled out her bible and referred to 1 Corinthians 10:13 and said that God would not put me in a situation He knew I would not be able to handle. As simple as it was, that verse stuck to me and eventually brought back my hope and faith. He believes that I can handle this and that I am resilient. So, I started to believe in myself, that I am resilient and I am strong enough to overcome any challenges that life brings me. All it takes is just a little faith to get your strength back.

With every great strength comes a great weakness. I can guarantee no human being is perfect, unless you are like Beyoncé or something. Other than that, we all have our flaws and imperfections and that is okay. It is part of what makes us who we are. Despite being resilient and generous, I am also short-tempered and easily discouraged. I would consider these two traits as my greatest flaw all together because it is something I barely have control of. It is also something I am not proud of being. I could be the most happiest person on the planet and then turn into the most cold-blooded person in just a snap. But of course, it takes a few tries to aggravate me. I do not turn into a complete psychopath in a second, or else I would be in some mental institution or incarcerated. Being somewhat short-tempered also makes me someone who is easily discouraged. It takes a whole lot of courage and effort for me to want to pursue something, but it also takes one setback for me to give up. It probably sounds weird to consider myself as a resilient person but be easily discouraged, I know. I do not know exactly what caused me to be this way, but I guess that is just part of what makes me who I am. This is something I know I need to work on, but it is easier said than done. No one can really change how they are in a second or right when they decide they wanted to. I know that if I really wanted to change this about myself, I would have to work with it and be patient. These things take time.

By now, you have read about my life experiences and some of the major qualities that make up who I am. To sum up and overload my whole life story and how it impacts the person that I have become into one essay seem impossible. This essay reflects on how my experiences and how the people in my life have made me realize who I am as an individual. But this is not all that I am. I am also a sister, a friend, and a perfectly flawed human being. I am the outcome of my greatest strengths and I am more than my imperfections. I am still working on trying to be a better version of myself. As I mentioned in the beginning, I am an ordinary person with quite remarkable qualities and imperfections. I have an ongoing story about my life to tell the world and this story is far from over.  

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