Who am i Became because of Music

Would I have ever thought I could make a personal connection with music? Through major points in my life, music was always present. A pianist named Timothy Long says, 'Music is the only thing in the world that can block out the madness, and can be consumed in the sadness, for it helps the soul survive even if only in a short period of time?. Different genres of music help with different emotions and scenarios of life. Music helps me get through everything life has to throw my way. By examining each stage of my life, music has been apart of helping me become who I am now.

I learned that people can be mean. Starting off fifth grade was different from the end of fifth grade. Popularity is a where you are admired by most, school popularity is where a group of people think they are better than most so they choose to be friends who think the same. Fifth grade is where schools start their cliques. I had a best friend at the beginning of the year but by the time the year ended popularity can change someone. When she first starting cutting me out of her life, I tried explaining to her how upset I was when she was ignoring me. All she did at the time was ignore what I had to say. I was hurt, i've never experienced the pain of someone I cared for before.When I went home crying, I turned on my favorite movie at the time, 'The Hannah Montana Movie"to make me feel better. Miley Cyrus sang, 'Always gonna be an uphill battle/Sometimes Im gonna have to lose/Ain't about how fast I get there/Ain't about what's waiting on the other side/ It's the climb" (Cyrus). The meaning behind these lyrics are that life will give obstacles that may seem hard at the time but it will get better later in time. Even though it was my first experience of losing a friend, I knew it will get better. At the age of ten, most would think that is the worst thing to go through. I know I struggled because I was in the shadows until fifth grade ended. Remembering the song ' The Climb", Miley sang, ' But I, I gotta keep trying/ Gotta keep my head held high" (Cyrus). I had to keep my head up and think positive because I knew that going into junior high was new opportunity to make new friends. Losing that friend helped me become who I am today.

Sometimes it takes a near death experience to appreciate the life that you have. The summer before eighth grade I encountered a pain I have never thought could happen. During the week I had planned to go to Kentucky with my family for a weekend vacation. The morning of the trip, I woke up feeling nauseous. I ran to the bathroom, and ended up getting sick. I stayed home to rest instead. Later that week I got worse, I couldn't do much because the pain in my abdomen increased. I couldn't physically eat, I couldn't sleep, my immune system was shutting down. During the time of my sickness, I was taken to the pediatrician and they gave me pain killer shots. Another week passed and i'm still weak, my mom finally took me to the emergency room. The doctors took a CAT scan, it lit up like a christmas tree. My appendix was busted for 5 days. Emergency surgery was needed. During the surgery my heart stopped. During that moment I saw a bright light and saw my papa Chuck. He told me it was not my time and I need to go back. In the song Head Above Water by Avril Lavigne, she sang, 'God, keep my head above water/ don't let me drown"(Lavigne). I relate to the lyrics because when I saw my papa, I asked for help to lead me back to where I belong because I knew it wasn't my time. When I finally woke up I was out of surgery. Friends, Seeing my family and friends so worried showed me that I was needed here. Lavigne sang, ' I'm too young to fall asleep"(lavigne).

Im thankful that my papa helped me because I realized once I woke up I had entire life ahead of me and people need me. So coming close death opens your eyes to what I have been blindsided to and will gain.

It is cool to be smart. At the age of 16, I got accepted to go to a medical conference at Harvard University. Before school ended of sophomore year, I got a letter in the mail from the Harvard University school board saying I was chosen out of many students to join them in Boston, Massachusetts. I was overly ecstatic. The requirements were to keep my GPA at 3.5 or higher before the conference in June and make sure I have everything I needed to take notes. I would be seeing a hernia surgery be operation and learning about different medical professions. By taking this opportunity, it would boost my chance for getting into a college I would like to go to. Beyonc?© once sang, ?I'm repping for the girls /Who taking over the world/Have me raise a glass/For the college grads? (Beyonc?©). When I was young, a family member told me girls can't always do what guys can do. By getting nominated by the Harvard University to come, I proved that I can do anything I set my mind to. Making a connection to the lyrics in that scenario, I was standing up for all the girls being anyone or anything. Once I went to conference, I had an amazing time and saw amazing cites. When I came home, it seems as if I had more respect from that certain family member. Beyonce also sang, ?To the other men/That respect what I do? (Beyonc?©). Even though it hurt when I was told I couldn't do what men could do, I didn't take it to heart because I know I have others who believe in me and respect who I am. From this, it helped shape who I became today.

He let go of me so easily. Meeting him for the first time, I never knew he would bring happiness but also heartbreak. Him and I became acquainted when I got a job at Huddle House. Our connection instantly sparked up, we were closer to each other than to any other co-worker. Knowing he had a girlfriend, I had to keep my distance until it was the summer they broke up. From getting butterflies to having him always on my mind, I couldn't be happier. We were the typical highschool couple. From late night movie nights to helping me study for exams to cooking for him. Later in this relationship I had to deal with him leaving to go into the army. He left September fifth and wouldn't be back till March.

I haven't heard from him since he left until recent. He was different, distant in fact. It was the day before my birthday when he called to tell me he doesn't see it working out,I broke. I came across a song during this heartbreak called Figures by Jessie Reyez. Jessie sang, 'I gave you ride or die and you gave me games/ I wish I could hurt you back"( Reyez). He knew he had the intentions to break up while he was gone, he just led me on to believe it was going to work out. I gave him a something special piece of me plus my time, which is the reason why i'm hurting more than any other breakup. I had to say I'm fine, thank you a couple times a day. Wore a smile that wasn't genuine. He broke me, and I hate him because I still love him. Once I was given some time to cope, I realized that if it wasn't meant to be it wasn't meant to be and there will be other opportunities. When I was going through this time I had thought of what would happen if he wanted me back, what would I do. Jessie sang, ' Love, what would you do if you couldn't get me back/ you're the one who's gonna lose/ something so special, something so real" (Reyez). I tell myself that he lost something that he will want later on, to help me get through the day. I don't regret ever being with him because then I would never have know what true heartbreak feels like. Heartbreak helps shape who I am.

From losing a friend to going to Harvard, each moment helped shape me into the women I am today. I may not have had control over every situations or the outcome of them but I can control my emotions and how they can affect me. You have to experience a little rain to see a rainbow.

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