In this week’s Journal, I will be talking about the types of parenting based on Baumrind’s four original parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and rejecting/neglecting. But firs we need to understand what each of the following types are. After I breakdown the types of parenting developed by Baumrind, I will talk about two types of them from information I collected from a friend and my own experience with my father. Before I start, here is a quick bio on Diana Blumberg Baumrind.
She was the first of two daughters born to Hyman and Mollie Blumberg, a lower middle-class couple residing in one of New York’s Jewish enclaves. Diana, the eldest in an extended family of female cousins, inherited the role of eldest son, which allowed her to participate in serious conversations about philosophy, ethics, literature, and politics. Many of Diana’s teachers were closet Marxists who reinforced her social consciousness and strengthened her philosophical grounding in dialectical materialism. Diana earned an AB in philosophy and psychology at Hunter College. Baumrind studied developmental, clinical, and social psychology, earning the MA in 1951 and PhD. in 1955.
In the 1960’s Dr. Diana Baumrind developed the four types of parenting. She did that by studying the relationship between parents and their children in their homes. The first one is Authoritative Parenting; this type of parenting is probably the best form of educating your child/children. It does demand more from parents but it’s very high in rewards. It’s a balance between a firm education and encouragement, it also allows the child/children be part of decision making.
The next one is the Authoritarian Parenting; this form of parenting is very demanding as well; however, it could create issues while educating you kids this way. It uses a base of “do it because I said so” and it demands blind obedience from your little one. Needless to say, the child has no imputes opinion in decision making.
This third one I believe we see it a lot and I think that most parent may confuse it with Authoritative Parenting, Permissive Parenting; this style is based on the fear of disappointing the children, parents will indulge their kids and most likely will not enforce any rules. This style has the illusion you are doing what is right but in fact you are encourage them to expect that everything is done their way. The last one is probably an epidemic in this era we live in, Neglectful Parenting; The name says it all. Parents that falls under this type of parenting are usually uninvolved with their kids’ life. This is extremely harmful in short and especially long term.
The first case study is my own thinking back from my up bring looking back I had all four forms of parenting my mother was and still is permissive and neglectful, more permissive than the other and my father was authoritarian and authoritative now more authoritative.
This huge difference on the up bring was very difficult because it didn’t really gave me a foundation. When I was with my mother I could do pretty much what I wanted and get what I wanted and when I was with my father I had rules and little saying. My school grades were always better when I lived with my father opposed to when I lived with my mother, I was rewarded based on my school accomplishments whereas my mother would bribe me and not enforce good grades.
My behavior was very much toward manipulative, if dad said no mom would definably say yes. My mother’s behavior does match her parenting style, she was often neglected as a child, so I believe her combinations makes sense she probably compensated with being permissive, which could be in her mind a very caring and giving mom.
On my dad’s case I believe he compensated different, he was also neglected and had to follow orders blindly, so his attempted to not repeat the same was based on the combination of both authoritarian and authoritative starting with the first one and evolving to the second one. I want to make sure I love them both and that I was blessed with little damage if any.
Kate S. is a mother of 3 and it may be a rare thing in our days because her husband is a present and loving father. After chatting about their relationship with their kids, It was clear to me that she used a combination of both authoritarian and authoritative. A good example she gave me was that if they (parents) said “we are going to Orlando” once thaer the kids would have a saing on to where to go first. It’s a nice balance.
When I asked her which of the two types her kids respond better she said “when we allow them to pitch in on decisions”. Kate also confirmed that the way she parents her kids, is the same way her and her husband was parented.
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