My Understanding of Sexism Problem

Treat Every Woman like You Would Treat Your Mother and We Will be Fine Since the beginning of the #MeToo movement, policies have been devised to keep men out of possible trouble. Men are learning the importance of respecting every woman and valuing them as human beings. I, have written about the importance of fathers training their sons to show women and girls with respect in light of the stories testimonies alleging assault that have been exposed. I too have been accused of sexual misconduct. I was walking behind a temporary employee where I worked. Due to the cooler temperatures in the plant, I was wearing a “hoodie,” which was unzipped. All of a sudden she jumped up and started yelling that I had touched her bottom (not the word she used). I’m guessing my sweatshirt may have brushed against her. I denied it but by the time she hit the front office, her story had changed. Now I had “groped” and squeezed her butt (again not her word). I was called to the front office to answer to these allegations and when the new scenario was presented to me, I actually saw red. Obviously my sweatshirt has a life of its own if it can grope and squeeze someone’s butt. An allegation of this sort was like taking a bullet to everything I believe in. I was so livid about these lies, I told my supervisor that if he entertained any notion these allegations might be true I would punch out, get my stuff and they would never see me again. I had worked for this business for over 25 years and had a spotless record. I never even had an attendance problem. An allegation like this had the power to negate everything I worked my entire life for. Fortunately, my record spoke for itself and my supervisor told me they didn’t believe anything that my accuser had said. She was gone the next day. Fast forward to today. If she were to make these accusations now, I would have been fired or suspended without pay pending an investigation. After an investigation I am certain that they would have to believe her story and I would have been terminated. It would have been a case of she said/ he said. With all that has come out about Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, et al, many of us men are trying to maintain a higher standard of behavior in the work place and elsewhere than we have in the past when interacting with members of the opposite sex (sometimes, the same sex). Most of us would prefer not have those incidents happen that could dramatically change our lives and alter the way other people see us. Let me be honest, it is very possible for affairs to happen between two consenting adults in the workplace. We have all heard gossip about this before and we can all imagine that it could happen. I was also accused of having an affair with a female coworker because I would talk to her. Let me say at this point that I have been very happily married since 1969. I have never been unfaithful despite a few opportunities. I respect the sanctity of marriage and take the oath “‘til death do us part” very seriously. However, other people have created their own rules to follow to try and avoid any possible allegations being leveled their way. For example, there seems to be an unspoken rule on Wall Street that is now instructing men to avoid women at all costs. It was pointed out in a recent Bloomberg article though that this new standard may actually isolate women in finance and make it more difficult for them to advance in their careers. In spite of reasons why this "rule" is beneficial, it should not be used if it will prevent women from climbing up the corporate ladder and is unfair to everyone. Men can and should just keep their hands to themselves, their eyes focused on the other person's face, and keep any unwelcome compliments to themselves. However, women should not be avoided altogether. They should just be treated as respected human beings who hopefully, will bring valuable experience and to knowledge to their role in whatever corporation or workplace they are at. This rule should not become a problematic obstruction of business meetings or an obstruction to any career that women desire. To make any job an unattainable part of a "Boys Club." Ask yourself this one question, how would you like it if your mom was prevented from getting a promotion or a job that she is qualified for because of her sex? If it is unfair to your mother, then it isn’t fair to other woman either.

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