What my Parents Told me

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What my Parents Told Me For this assignment we are suppose to write about what out parents told us about the Bird’s and the Bee’s. Well this topic will be more difficult than what I thought it would be. My parents got divorced when I was ten and I lived with my daddy, and you know daddy’s don’t talk about puberty with their daughters little own the “SEX TALK” My dad married my step mom about three months after I moved in with him, and mom talked to me about my menstrual cycle, a just a little about sex, because for the first time ever I had a little brother and we shared a bed room, She told us that when boys and girls get older they start to get curious about the opposite sex, and that it was normal for us to play house and or doctor, but that it was not appropriate to play with each other because we where family. I did however, despite my moms talk experience my first sexual encounter with my step brother, he was about eight and I was eleven I believe, we tried so hard to hide from mom, but it didn’t work out very well, she came and questioned us about what we had done, we told her we played a game of hide and seek like mommy and daddy did, well we didn’t share the same room anymore and that was about it as far the sex talked when then. I moved back in with my birth when I was fourteen, we lived in the swaps of Louisiana so , Sex education wasn’t taught, we really didn’t have the big city to worries about we lived on an island. My mom was the manager of a restraint so wasn’t home very much and when she was she was asleep. So no sex education from mom either, I did however have an older sister who was sixteen , she was who really told me about birds and bees and that it had nothing to do with birds or bee’s, she was also pregnant . By the time I was fifteen I had already been sexually active and I became pregnant just after my sister had her daughter, I was really confused though about how I got pregnant, I mean I knew that parents did it to have a baby, but I couldn’t quite grasp how I got that way, I honestly thought I had do something more than just have sex. My mom tried to have the talk with me while I was in labor with my daughter, well by then I think she was a little late. I guess you can say I educated myself about sex and its consequences, I had five children at the age of twenty five and decided have my tubes tide, this was the only way I knew to be safe from getting pregnant, I couldn’t remember to take the pill every at the same time. And I was allergic to condoms; I didn’t want the depo shot because of the side affects. As you can see form this, I didn’t have the sex talk ever, my dad wouldn’t talk about it, my step mom tried but had the same talk with me that she had, and that didn’t work. And then my mom being a single mom worked all the time and she didn’t really have time, Do the lack of the Sex talk at home and no sex education at school, I became sexually active at 14 got pregnant at 15, and then again at 17 again at 18 and yet again at 20 and 24. I believe that if I would have had the talk, with my parents and or Sex education I would have been a little more prepared and knowledgeable about the choices I made. What I learned from this assignment was that a lot of parents don’t talk to their children about sex until it is too late. I see that parents are still afraid to open that door with there children, I guess they are afraid that they will encourage sexual behavior , but what they don’t realize is that if they don’t talk to there kids someone else will, with a less positive out look. It is also shown that in poverty stricken areas such as what I grew up in; Sex as between children appears to be younger than in those areas not struggling for survival. In these lower incomes family many teens are pregnant or have or have had a sexual transmitted disease because they can not afford or where not educated about contraceptives. Sex education should be offered not only in schools but in local communities that have a higher risk of sexual behavior. Children with tight net families and those that a have a positive relationship with there parents tend to delay sexual activity or less risky behaviors. With this type of relationship with children usually comes with very strict guidelines about dating. Parents that are close to there children an d are comfortable with there sexuality find it easier to talk to there kids openly about having sex, and the choices they have if they choose to become active with there mate. Kids now have more out side influences than I did when I grew up, I know have five teenage daughters and a single mom, I see what my kids are faced with every day, the Media is probably the worst influence on our kids today, you cant drive down the road with out seeing a bill board about clothes or make up that make you sexier, and then there is sex oils advertised as how to help you partner experience the ultimate orgasm. Tooth past commercial are now showing couples getting entament after brushing their teeth with this product. Television is proven to be the worst on our children, you have sex in the city, and soap opras that show that sex is the way of life. At the same time you have shows that are great for our kids, such as secret life of an American teenager, that tells a story about real life, a fifteen year old girls has sex for the first time and get pregnant, chooses to keep the baby and now has to deal the with everyday struggles of being a mother and a student. This shows our children what really happens and that sex most of the time comes with a price most of the time. Sex education is now available in most cities, now the smaller towns don’t really offer them, depending on which state you live in is the type of sex end available. In the south sex is talks about all the options and choices, it also teaches that absenteeism is best but teaches you how to make the right choices when you are faced with them. In the West most schools teach absents only. And then absenteeism plus, adds little about contraceptives if you become active out side marriage. This class topic was very interesting to me; I have always been comfortable talking to my daughters about sex, and making the right choices in life when it comes to that. I also now see how peer pressure, pushes these children to go against all that is right and causes them to do the wrong thing. I just didn’t realize how many studies have been done, and what the statistics are in regards to children having sex form 1995 to now. The fact that talking to your kids and sex education knowledge help our young make the right decisions when faced with sex Reference: The Alan Guttmacher Institute (2006) Crook, Our sexuality WWW. abc. com Annual editions article 16 ( Hymowitz) (pp. 72-78)

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