Reaching my Early Thirties

I am reaching my early thirties where countless daunting bills are bombarding me every first of the month. Overwhelmed with bills here and bills there, I constantly find myself debating if college was worth all of the sacrifices I have had to make. From having to live in a small apartment in the hood, spending more on cosmetics to fulfill the demands of my insecurities, to living a life focused specifically on work and nothing else, I often wonder if this burden called student loan debt could just vanish.

If I could just have one wish in this world, I would wish for no student loan debt so that I can start doing what I came to this plane to do: to live. There is a huge difference between people who are just getting through life and people who actually make the most out of life. Currently, I am on the spectrum of trying to survive.

For someone fresh out of college, I am on a tight budget while trying to find affordable housing. However, affordable housing is often impossible to find in the booming Silicon Valley without having three or four housemates. Due to these circumstances, I would have to find a place in a more sketchy, dangerous area of town where I am constantly having to look behind me for my own safety. For me to be able to save the two hundred dollars I would spend on paying off my student debt, I could find a place in a safer part of town to avoid robberies and violence. Also, I wouldn't have to worry about spending more money to replace items that thieves can rob of me, which includes my own sanity. If I could spend less time moving and apartment hunting, I could spend more time applying to more internships and jobs that could help me financially.

People are always concerned about their appearance on the outside. Although I believe in natural beauty and being a minimalist when it comes to cosmetics, I do care about my appearance not for others but for myself. Student debt stimulates an excessive amount of stress, which leads to acne and insecurities. As someone who dealt with acne for most of her life, I remember feeling as if people were just staring at my acne instead of being fully engaged with me in a casual conversation.

Acne became a source of insecurity and I was no exception in falling into the many traps makeup brands claiming that their products were a magic potion that could heal my acne in twenty four hours or less. As a matter of fact, student debt causes so much stress that instead of sleeping I would drink over four cups of coffee per day to get more work done instead of resting. It is not rocket science that less sleep equates for not only more acne, but also extremely strenuous setbacks for a person with anemia. If my student loan debts could disappear, I would not have to worry so much about my outward appearance and I would be able to heal my anemia faster.

In a year, my wedding will be happening and my fiance and I would like to start our own family by adopting three dogs and two rabbits. Personally, I would like to travel at least twice a year to cross off locations on my bucket list. I would love to learn a new language and become a student again in what many cultures have to offer. Then, reality hits me as I wake up from this daydream at work with the fact that the bills are not going to pay off themselves. As much as I love animals, I have to be financially stable before adopting any pets. It would be selfish to adopt and then not be able to care for them by giving them the best life possible.

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