Learning from Failures

Yesenia is my sister and the oldest from my siblings. My sister accomplished something that has not been accomplished in my family and that was receiving her high school diploma. Many don't realize that receiving your high school diploma can open few doors and receiving a diploma/degree from college opens multiple doors. My parents were of proud of her for receiving their diplomas. My sister had a more difficult time getting where she is now. She ended in the same path as my mother, ended pregnant at a young age but she didn't let her situation get in her way of receiving her education. My sister got more motivation from her daughter to give her a better life. She had to be a mother while being a student also and it wasn't easy but she had support from her husband and family. My sister is a role model for me. She has always tried to steer me to the right path and has always been there for me whenever I needed her.

Yesenia is currently a medical assistant working in a clinic working with patients who are fighting cancer. My sister received scholarships and she set high standards for my siblings and I. Throughout elementary and middle school I have always been an excellent student and loved school. The beginning of freshman year I was under a lot of pressure to achieve more than what my older siblings achieved. I was always the one that received better grades and always received certificates from teacher. My parents never thought I would have any problems in school. Growing up my parents would always brag about me to their friends and family. Not only did my parents set high expectations for me but family and friends were expecting me to excel as well. I felt like I couldn't disappoint if I kept being the student I was however, I was a disappointment for my parents my freshman and sophomore year. I also set a bad example for my younger brother. I started skipping class, giving attitude to my teachers, and failing my classes. My family was very surprised by my behaviour because I have always been the type of student that would do my work quietly and be shy around others. My attitude continued throughout freshman and sophomore year. I would have parent meetings with my counselor but I still continued with my behaviour. I received probation and had to attend court towards the end of freshman year.

During my freshman and sophomore year I simply didn't care about where I was going and gave up on my goals for my future. I was scared that I wouldn't succeed my family's expectations so I just gave up. I would carry this anger towards my siblings who had already graduated which did not help with my relationship with my older brother because we have never really ever had a brother-sister bond, it has always been like strangers. My sister and I talked about my behaviour and I couldn't quite explain to her why I was behaving the way I was. I didn't want her to think I was weak or that I was scared of failing. I don't like showing emotions. I know my sister honestly cares for me. I realized she wants me to be someone in life when she invited a few of my cousins that I grew up with over to my house.

My cousins never graduated high school along with most of my family. My sister truly was the first to have graduated. It was sorta of a intervention and they talked to me about why they didn't continue to school and how they regretted it. There was foul language used in the conversation but it was all love. They explained to me that what I was doing isn't going to get me anywhere in life and that it wasn't too late to fix my problem. I'm very grateful that my sister was helping me out because I never realized until that conversation that I was letting my education go to waste and myself. How far can I go without having an education ? Nowhere to be quite honest. For me personally, I have always seen having a education as a foundation by which I can build a career. I want to have a career and show my family that I worked hard towards a better future. I would like to be a role model. I seen and heard stories about young girls who aren't allowed to go to school. These young girls are being forced to marriage at a young age and are worth less than a cow. I have a golden ticket that many don't get to have and I am not seeing the value of it.

Entering Junior year I decided to be the student I was back in elementary and middle school. It was not easy and I didn't have a clue of the difficulties that I would have to overcome along the way. I still struggle to this day on how I became a more productive student. I've made improvements with my grades and attendance that I was released from probation. I gave up my saturdays and school breaks to make up missing credits. I was a different person then and most people get surprised when I have to explain why I attend saturday school, winter intersession and spring intersession .Whenever I'm absent from school I email my teachers asking them for my missing assignments or lessons. I have always loved school but once I entered high school I got nervous and scared.

I had these high expectations from my family and I carried this fear that I won't be successful in school. I learned that I shouldn't let my fear of what could happen make nothing happen. I still have to work on a fear of mine which is public speaking which is something I struggle with. It has affected my grade in my english and spanish class but I been working on it. I also made improvements on my life outside of school. There is a program I will be joining that my probation officer recommended me to take. The program helps you stay on track for graduation, set up job interviews (both fake and real), how to dress for job interviews, how to fill out a resume, etc. I regret the decisions I made entering freshman year, all I can do is learn from my mistakes and move forward.

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