Happiness is a Goal of Life

It was one of those moments when time stands still. One of those moments so important your mind has to pause, focus, and capture everything because of its occurrence. One of the moments you know you will look back on fondly in years ahead. One of the moments that make you reflect on how lucky you are to be who you are, where you are, doing what you are doing, with the people you are with. I was going to get coffee. It was summer, naturally. I was driving down the infamous one-way street in my seasonal beach town, the breeze drawing the music from my car into the ears of the surrounding drivers at a red light. I was with some of the most important people in my life. The light turns. I press the gas and I smile. The fact that this reflective moment was not a graduation, birthday or a major life milestone may surprise some, but it is in these tiny moments, as small as a typical summer sunset drive or a swim in the ocean when I catch myself in the act. I catch myself being happy. Happiness is not feeling great all of the time. It is not accumulating large sums of money. It is not conditional on our other accomplishments as human beings. And happiness is certainly not something to be put off or postponed. However, happiness is more than a fleeting moment of joy or smiling to yourself. In fact, I find that smiling is the realization that you are happy. As debatable, complex, and sought after the concept of happiness may be, the idea is different for everyone, as is the process of reaping its rewards. Happiness is a goal and a way of life most work towards every day, it does not simply come to be. It is a process. One can work towards happiness knowing they have lived a worthwhile life to their own level of satisfaction. This is where the process diverges because each individual holds themselves to different standards on a large variety of things (Haybron, 36). This is the idea of life satisfaction and it varies greatly because each individual decides what they need to accomplish in their given circumstances in order to be satisfied with their life. We set the bar for ourselves regarding our level of personal satisfaction but happiness is something we can constantly be pursuing. I have found that happiness, more so than anything else, is a practice in itself. Similarly to how professional athletes are constantly working towards the goal of bettering themselves, if an individual decides they want to be happy, they have to work on it consistently. I can recall a time when I knew I was not, in my terms, happy. I would have days when I would be more content than others, but I was not happy with where I was in my life. I was also not focused on trying to change that fact. I would soon come to the realization that I can just as easily strive for the meaning and positivity I was lacking, as stay comfortable in my unhappiness. This practice is a process, a gradual one. Some days will be easier than others to pursue happiness, but it is necessary to remember why we started. There must be some light at the end of the tunnel if so many people are racing towards it. In few words, happiness is the continuous practice of living a meaningful life composed of purpose and positivity. To live meaningfully is to live with purpose. I believe it is essential for happiness to have a life driven by a purpose, goal, or simply an interest to keep ourselves engaged and living a worthwhile life. Even if this purpose is ever-changing, our meaning can be equated with the fire within each of us that gives us the motivation to, like positive psychologist Martin Seligman states, be all you can be (PAGE). Hense, this meaning can be created or found. Meaning and purpose is defined differently by everyone who seeks it. It is the value we place on certain things. To one, meaning can be found in astrophysics while another can place purpose in volunteer work and literature. The commonality, regardless of the purpose, is that each individual who has found what is meaningful to them is working towards something, being productive, and moving forward. They are connecting with something bigger than the self and will ultimately be rewarded with success (Haybron, 102). Throughout my life, I have found purpose in self-confidence. Once I made the decision to become a person who embodies confidence, I was shocked to see how many other girls were also struggling to discover their own. Soon after making the monumental connection with the organization I AM THAT GIRL, I started a local chapter at my high school, where we discussed meaningful issues such as confidence, image, and worth, that mattered to a group of twenty-five like-minded girls. This is when I experienced first-hand the necessity to make connections with people and things that matter (Haybron, 71) The relationships I built from my club were immeasurable and helped me recognize who I am and who I want to become moving forward. They were built on trust and security, two things that Haybron dictates as the most important aspects of any relationship (69). The relationships we have in life are fascinating because we choose who we associate with. This is why it is so essential to surround ourselves with people who uplift us and push us to be our absolute best, not tear us down. Meaning is placed in a relationship if both feel mutually like they are benefitting. If a relationship does not feel good, that means it is not right and is stalling your progress towards a life of happiness. Just as important as practicing a meaningful life is practicing a life of positivity. Positivity is a mindset, one you have made the deliberate decision to take on. Being positive does not equate to smiling all the time or having the most outgoing personality, although they may follow suit. More than seeing the glass half full, positivity is the optimistic search for the good in people, situations, and in life; focusing on what is present, not on what is absent. I believe that simply thinking positive thoughts and putting good out into the world creates some of the value and meaning we place on things that was earlier discussed. It is no wonder making a positive first impression has so much stress placed upon it, because people do not remember what you say, they remember how you make them feel. I have been asked on more than one occasion about why I am so positive, but my response is often, How could I not be?. Positivity has helped me stay focused and grounded in my own reality and reminded me of what is important, even when things would not always go my way. Positivity is a way of looking at the world, and when we put good into the world, it is often replicated in the feelings of warmth, comfort, or gratitude that Seligman speaks of (17). Being positive can undoubtedly be difficult though, especially in unfortunate and tragic situations that are out of our control. However, as humans, we must do our best to maintain a positive outlook into the world, as it will ultimately guide us in the practice of happiness. There is little sense in saying happiness is easily grasped. In some ways, we will constantly be moving towards it by way of the purpose and positivity we place on our own lives. Regardless of how satisfied or unsatisfied we are with our current lives, who is to say we cannot make the decision to start living with purpose, meaning, and positivity to pursue a life of happiness? You might just catch yourself in the act the next time you are on your way for coffee.

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