I was always told that thinking about yourself would never get you anywhere, but taking the time out to think about others would get you somewhere. Also you have to do for yourself, before you can do for others. I believe that these quotes helped me get through my experience of helping others. As I did my three good deeds I learned to be thankful, self-actualization, and strong. I realized that helping others give you a powerful feeling, you feel as if the whole world had changed. As I seen an old man desperate for money to get gas I gave him five dollars, I watched a mom struggle to support her children with food and clothing so I helped her out, and I saw a lady suffering from a painful disease so I supported her.
As I sat in the McDonalds parking lot eating my food with my cousin waiting to head back home I saw an older man walking around. I wonder if he was homeless or on drugs, he looked desperate and stressed. He circled the lot walking up to anybody that came out the restaurant. He would then go back and stand by his car and start to look as if he had lost hope I could tell by his non-verbal cues that he was having an hard time. He finally came up to the car I was in and asked did we have any money to give him so that he could get some gas. He told us that anything would work, I seen the look in his eyes and I told him yes and gave him five dollars. As he thanked me with joy I told him he was welcome and to pay it forward.
Over my fall break I got news that a friend of my family was going through tough times. She had lost her job and lost her house. She didn’t have any money and barley had a place to stay. It hurt me to see her and her three girls come to my house hungry and cold. She talked about how her girls didn’t have any winter clothes and it was getting cold outside, they were always hungry and didn’t have money to buy any food so they would come over. I thought about how they needed help so I went through all my clothes and got some old clothes, shoes, and coats out for the little girls. I went to the store and bought them food that they could use with all I could afford such as milk, bread, soups etc. I put it all in a big box and one day when they came over I gave it to them. They all were thrilled and said thank you. I then noticed the mother crying and she had told me she don’t know any other way to thank me, I told her she was fine just pay it forward and do something good for someone who needs it.
One day I was at Wal-Mart to get something for my mom. As I was walking in I saw this older woman struggling to but her groceries away in her car. She had caught my eye when she had dropped a bag on the floor and as the cans rolled down the parking lot she stood there with a helpless look on her face. I stopped and helped pick up the cans I bought them over to her and asked her did she need any help. She told me yes please and I loaded the rest of the groceries in her car with her. As she moaned and groaned I noticed she was out of breathe. She then told me thank you and said she had cancer and with her doing chemotherapy she was sick and weak. I told her she was welcome and to pay it forward and hoped she a get better. A few days later my cousin asked me would I like to walk for breast cancer and it made me think back at the older woman I helped and so that weekend I went and walked in the park to support breast cancer.
Through my whole experience I learned to use the concepts I learned in class to help me such as non-verbal cues I learned to look at facial expressions to read people. I learned mixed messages like when I asked one of the little girls how she was doing, and she told me fine but I could tell she was sad and upset. I could approach individuals in the right way like the lady at the store. I looked at the different forms of communication that I have learned and applied it in my experience to get a better outcome. Queston (6.) What evidence of mindful listening or other listening techniques did you use to make your communication more effective? My listening style was very effective when the mother was telling me how she was doing bad I listened to her and got a response in my head that I needed to help her, or do something to try to make her and her family feel better. Question (1.) Why did you choose to do a particular deed for a particular person? I choose to help them out because she was my friend also she needed help. She was struggling and I could tell by the look in her face that she was stressed. I wanted to do something for them that would make them feel like giving up on life wasn’t the only option. By looking at their faces and the way they acted I could tell that they weren’t happy. I used those cues to help me think of a way to help them out.
When I helped the lady at Wal-Mart I learned that she was suffering from pain and fighting for her life. I helped her because she looked as if she needed help with her groceries and when I found out that she had cancer a feeling came over me. When my cousin had asked me to walk with her to support breast cancer I thought about her and how she was struggling. And although she didn’t know I had walked that day my intentions were to support her as she fought for her life. So I took it upon myself to join in the walk for her and other cancer patients. Question (8.) Which nonverbal codes did the person/people you approach use in their response to you helping them? When I helped her I could hear her groan as she lift a bag up to put it away she sounded as if she was in pain. I figured the bags were heavy and she was just a little tired as she made the verbal cues, but when she told me about her problem I was shocked. My eyes got wide and I could barely speak. It made me realize I need to support her and what she was going through.
In conclusion, General Helping Behavior was associated with positive social relations, and Helping Orientation was associated with better purpose in life.(Journal of Happiness Studies; Dec2009, Vol. 10 Issue 4) As we tend to help one another we began to change the lives of others. With helping each other you also need to communicate, also you have to listen. Paying it forward is a good way to get people to interact and communicate more effectively. My experience through this process was a lesson learned. I felt much better about myself after helping others. I realized it’s not about you and at times we need to be there for one another. Also individuals go through situations and at times people need a little help to overcome their obstacle.
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