Prose of my Life and Finding Strength in Oneself

I await at the edge of my bed, hoping to come to terms with my faith. Comprehending this future life that I’ve placed upon myself, I can’t seem to grasp the idea of it. How have my calculations forced me into this position? How have I allowed myself to be treated with such disdain? The walls seem to be peeling to my eyes. Has it been that long?

I can still feel the intensity of the silence in the air as it pours around me like a waterfall. The disgust from the church at my statements can be seen around the world. My statements have offended the church to no extent, and have created a horrid, evil public figure of myself to everyone else. Disbelief and support went head to head in the battle for my future, but it seems that luck wasn’t on my side. How dare I let my own discoveries be spread around? They say that my beliefs are erroneous, and false. They say that I am incapable when it comes to ever speaking of these supposed unbelievable concepts. But, what can be said about what’s already believed? How have my own eyes deceived me? Have they? Or I am insane to believe the reasons which led me to be as caged as I am today?

The rings that surround Saturn are not just a portion of my imagination running wild. The enormous but oh so tiny craters on the moon wasn’t due to my eyes growing old, or staring into the sun too long so that spots would be surrounding everything in my path and deceiving me of the actual truth of the physical state of the moon. The different phases of Venus could not have been created in my mind, unless my eyes are deceiving me again. What if my eyes weren’t the ones who were playing tricks on my mind? My telescope was my trusted weapon, but would it deceive me? It was carefully structured so that the mere sight of a speck of dust could not be seen, or a squeak of the mechanics could not be heard. But, would it deceive me?

I’m ill, and my age is increasing continuously. My sentence of eternity hasn’t set into my mind just yet, as I could never imagine that such scientific discoveries would offend the church so deeply. I don’t see how after so many hours I’ve spent discovering these ideas, they would be considered so treacherous. I don’t see how anyone could force a human to contain their factual arguments for the sake of the pride of the church. I don't see how anyone could force me to believe that I’m incorrect, at any point in the past, present, or future. I was not deceived. My eyes did not deceive me. My telescope did not deceive me. The church deceived me. The sentence of eternity did not fit the crime that did not exist.

I’m getting older now as I write this, but that was not the concern of those involved in my sentencing. They couldn’t comprehend the pain I felt as I stated what they forced me to. No one could bear to hear the pure disgust in my voice as I spoke like a machine, and spewed all the false and altered lies that the church forces everyone else to listen and subject themselves to. “And yet it moves”, I whispered. I whispered, yet it felt like I signed my life away, screaming while doing it. The sun does not revolve around our planets. Only someone as ignorant as the rest would believe the opposite. Oh, how I wish I had to ability to scream as loud as I could to anyone who was willing to listen to me.

I’m taking a second to breathe. I can still recall the moment that Father Firenzuola ordered me to give myself up to the church. In 1616, I had already been forbid to hold my current beliefs by the church, as it was seen as heretical. Years passed, and to stay out of the eye of those who capture “criminals”, I discussed it for no other purpose than discussion itself. Or, that’s what I meant for them to believe. The sentencing rings through my head as if it happened just yesterday. The firm belief that I not only was accused and convicted of heresy, but also that I will never continue to believe my discoveries, is just madness.

When I was younger, I remember, is when my curiosity peaked. I was a math professor at the University of Pisa. How exciting, isn’t it? My experiments with the heavy balls and the idea of participating in something that isn’t questioned in the slightest was daring to say the least. The topic of air resistance and the common people being surprised as if they saw an elephant with the head of a frog, was a new concept, as the church is to provide all the information that’s supposed to be given to the people. Even if the church wasn’t a factor in my curiosity, Aristotle’s concept of motion was off to say the least. Someone must correct what’s incorrect.

My comrades, mostly in the clergy, warned me with good reason. I ignored them, and continued by stubborn pursuit in discussing and believing, to the point where I thought that writing a book about it would be a splendid idea. What a laugh! As if that wasn’t enough to throw myself into a cage of lions, my letter to Castelli about what takes place in the supposed heavens didn’t help in any way. The church’s threat of violence and torture was put upon me so that my own beliefs had to be denied. Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems contain some of my beliefs that the church refuses to even lay eyes on. It’s one of the most offensive insults, to have your own beliefs be discredited, and denied. Starry Messenger makes me feel as if the people do have a reason to deny any information coming from higher authority, as they know nothing of what is real. The truth of the geocentric system lies within those who have not let others who know nothing dictate their own truth.

I’m becoming older than I was when I began this journal entry. Tomorrow will be another day, the same day. My reputation will remain demolished, and the information I have provided will be forbidden and forgotten. And yet, one day those who did have immense faith in me will continue to discuss and debate my findings, something that has been stripped of me. The days will move on, as everything else does. 

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