Failure is such a harsh and intimidating experience and thought to a developing mind. I recall the first time I felt out of control as life took over and I had no option but to fail. As we go through life, failing in that moment brings panic, sadness and even fear but at the end of every struggle there is a lesson to be learned.
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In this essay I am going to recount back to 2010 to my freshman year of highschool when I was newly diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and had to put school on the back burner to take care of my mental health.
I have always since I can remember been such a conscience student and always strived to be my best and do my best at every hurdle I was given to jump over. I remember in elementary school I would have a passing thought about my day as I was drifting off to sleep. I got a sudden drop in my stomach as I remembered I forgot to do one homework assignment. I would wake up no matter the time and immediately go finish my work so I could relax and go back to sleep. In school when we would get warnings about our behaviour and I would go home with a yellow slip of paper from a warning I had during class I felt like I had ruined my whole day. This characteristic followed me into young adulthood.
This conscience behavior has followed me my whole life and sometimes burdened my day to day life. Common among most of the American society I became severely depressed as I was transitioning from middle school to high school. I quickly became less and less of the caring Darby I had always been. I was struggling greatly with my attendance and my grades because of the constant anxiety attacks. It inevitably came down to me choosing to do what was right for my well being and mental health in the moment and what was detrimental to my freshman year of high school and ultimately caused me to fail. After all the hard work I had done to literally save my own life, I felt that same drop in my stomach as I did in elementary school when I had realized that I would not graduate the same years as my peers. My only option was to take this failure for what it was and move on.
This failure I experienced affected my graduation date and really made me question myself and who I was. Although this failure was very hard for me in many ways, I would not trade that struggle I went through for anything in this world. This failure showed me that life knocks you down, it shapes you into who you are meant to be and nothing goes as planned, you don’t always get to choose what happens to you and it helped me learn to cope and deal with these hurdles as they are thrown my way in this long distance track called life.
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