That means half of the people, in the country, that get married end up separating from each other. Divorce is a worldwide problem really concentrated in the U.S. that affects a lot of people. The solutions of premarital counseling and conscious uncoupling will help prevent divorce or make it as easy as possible, making future divorce rates drop.
Initially, many people see divorce as a good thing when their marriage isn’t working, but what they don’t see is the underlying effects it has on the people and things around them. According to a 2003 study by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, “” approximately one out of two marriages that year ended in divorce”” (go.galegroup.com.org). This is mainly because people get married at very young ages before they really figure out what they want in life. On a blog, Nicholas H. Wolfinger said that there is an almost linear relationship between the age you marry at and divorce risk. Young couples lack the proper skills and maturity that is necessary for happy relationships (ifstudies.org). Immaturity can lead to ambitious actions that come with love and marriage, that lead to having children. When children come into the factor of a couple struggling with divorce, they tend to get neglected because parents become too entangled in their own emotional and legal conflicts. Of great concern, Emily Hughes says that 60% of all children will spend a part of their lives not living with their biological parents because of divorce (my.vanderbilt.edu). In a similar fashion, along with not spending time with their splitting parents, it is pretty common for kids to blame themselves for their parents’ dissolution.
To explain, the typical thoughts that run through the adolescent mind are, If I would have behaved better, this wouldn’t have happened or I should have spent more time with my parents, so they wouldn’t have wanted to separate. The mental health of children worsens because of components previously mentioned. Furthermore, the knot that disembodied marriages put on society and the economy are a little hefty. A child’s ability to learn or do something successfully lessens, they have more mental and emotional health risks, and they are more prone to taking part in activities such as substance abuse, sexual practices, and suicide. They are even less likely to get married themselves because of what they’ve seen in their own homes as their minds were still developing. Not only do these actions come with consequences, but it costs an average of $40 billion a year to take care of (Anderson, Jane). In the future, if a problem like divorce is not solved, or even lessened, the rate will only continue to get higher, more families will be torn apart, and the children that are supposed to shape our future, will not be equipped with the proper tools to become true society building conscious citizens that mature and develop into active members of a flourishing world community.
Although divorce might not seem like it is an easy problem to solve, premarital counseling gives couples a better chance at keeping their relationship intact in the remote future. The Mayo Clinic describes premarital counseling as, a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage (mayoclinic.org). Further noting, the effectiveness of premarital counseling has proven to be at an upward trend according to Lauren Hanson who wrote Premarital counseling can decrease divorce rates, psychologist says, who quoted Scott Braithwaite saying, the practice decreases the chances of divorce by 50 percent. With that being said, counseling is shown to greatly enhance the relationship status of those seeking nourishment; providing a stepping stone to happiness and a picket fence future. However, on the opposite end of the spectrum, one may have doubts of using this resource as a tool due to the typically expensive nature of the treatment. The people that are religious, financially stable, and well acquainted with school take up the offer for the practice when they are the group of individuals that need it the least. Thus, leading to see that lower income families do not have the access to the help they deserve.
On the bright side, another favor to this solution is that it helps spouses establish areas that might be of conflict in their future, letting them take care of it on the spot. An article on Premarital counseling by GoodTherapy.org asserts that things like finances, child-reading methods, career goals, and family dynamics [etc.] are addressed so that there is a mutual understanding on how the relationship coincides with on another’s thoughts and opinions. Having a better understanding of the future leads to a happier present, and a thoughtful past. On the contrary, some couples do not advance in the practice out of fear. There is a stigma about seeking help because it makes people appear weak. To go along with this, some partners are nervous due to the impression that new have the potential to make themselves known, but the pairing will soon come to realize that the good outweigh the bad and there is nothing to be scared of. In short, if the proper steps are taken with the practice of premarital counseling, it will open up more couples to seek help when they need it and encourage others to do the same.
Following this, if all else fails and the spouses are not in a happy relationship, conscious uncoupling is a very positive and easy way to handle a divorce. Author, Katherine Woodward Thomas, also refers to the method as, Happily even After, and would describe it as an [honorable] end [to] a romantic union (telegraph.co.uk). In order for conscious uncoupling has to be a mutual agreement between partners. To add children back into the picture, this arrangement is the best for a separating pair because it allows the continuation of co-parenting, friendliness, and a way to teach kids that a divorce doesn’t have to follow the expectations of a nasty, legal, expensive battle. Of course, the thought of a dissolving marriage comes with the negative thoughts of experiencing pain, fear, sadness, anger and other upsetting emotions remarks Tonia Davis in her article The Benefits of Making a Conscious Choice to Uncouple (counseling.northwestern.edu).
Yet, it doesn’t have to be that way if the right mindset is put in place and the correct approach is taken. Unfortunately, training the brain to have that mindset doesn’t always work because our brains are programmed to not be thinking much at all we’re apt to say and do stupid and destructive things [and] we allow fear to hijack [our minds] (telegraph.co.uk). It would then require extra steps to be taken to eliminate any fear of fear; and allow for a fresh mind, new beginnings, and no fear of fear itself. Although this is a superb solution, the solution mentioned in the paragraph above is far more superior.
It’s clearly obvious that investing in the solution of premarital counseling is the best solution because there are more easily fixable disadvantages.
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