Alcoholism is an addiction to the utilization of alcohol or mental illness and uncontrollable attitude coming from alcohol need. This particular mental illness has a lot of victims but if you think about it the most helpless person of them are children of alcoholics. When being a parent you are supposed to hand down the knowledge and sustenance to help children with their future but with this mental illness, children have to get through living with parents who are violent and unpredictable to only go on living life with their own hasty ambitions. Children with alcoholic parents are exposed to alcoholism and mental health problems themselves in their adult lives, even though they have the option to go or to not go that route after a certain age.
When a child is growing up, they rely on stability and it is essential for a child to have structure growing up which comes from healthy parenting. Having a structured home helps shows the children security and trust and how to bring them up in the world amongst them. However, a child being raised in a house of alcoholics with their behavior changes every moment its worst for a child because they don’t have an image of stability. Knowing this is bad for adults, it’s really bad for children when growing up. according to the American Addiction Centers, as many as 76 million Americans (around 45 percent of the population have been exposed to some form of alcoholism of alcoholic mindset in their family; Lastly 26.8 million of those are children. Reason being is because the children are more at risk of going into a bad relationship with an alcoholic rather than children being brought up in a none drug environment.
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Denial is a vigorous part in alcoholism and living in that type of environment it’s hard for children to come to the surface that their parents are alcoholics which makes it hard for them to break away from their parents. Parents are essentially in denial of knowing that their own violent behavior is because of alcoholism so instead of looking within they will threaten the children into silence and the thought of mentioning something is seriously wrong scares them into violent behavior. Children growing with denial about their parents grows with not trusting, feeling, and deeply talking to people. Parents will continue with the problem and with doing that they will forget about the most important milestones in their children lives birthday, talent shows, sports events, and first heartbreak, etc. Going on without their parents being in the most important point of their life’s children learn to believe that everyone one around them are untrustworthy or disloyal. Having parents of alcoholism, the family is prone to a lot of dysfunctional feelings is physically and emotionally draining. In that environment, after a while, they will hide their feelings deep down inside to the point where their feelings will become numb and children growing up will always hide or second-guessing what they’re feeling and never the chance to feel free to say what they wanted to say to build their own character. After all, children with denial may tend to never confine within their parents about something meaningful or about the alcoholism. Parents that are alcoholics have no maternal and fatherly instincts.
Many children grow up as adults finding it hard to give themselves a break. Also, if they had an impulsive upbringing living in that setting it will make them fell unacceptable when analyzing themselves to their peers and feel like they are never worthy enough. Feeling that way can build up into little self-worth and low self-esteem, that will be instilled to make them feel like they don’t belong. Children of an alcoholism upbringing feel different from their peer and bash themselves. After a while, they might stay clear of any social setting, don’t make friends easily, and disconnect themselves from the world as a result.
In addition to self-judgment, most children that grow up with alcoholic parents suffer from not getting enough attention. The parents are giving their mental illness all the attention without even knowing it by passing out drunk, not being alert when conversing, and having too many people around. The result of lacking attention may cause them to grow up seeking for approval to become a people pleaser who gets easily upset if the people around them is not satisfied them and continue to be in fear of criticism. Furthermore, when adults keep this mindset; seeking approval turns into finding attention in the wrong place love, social media, friends. Having any little self- acceptance from others can lead to having a bad environment with terrible people in your corner full of physical, mental, emotional, and verbal abuse.
Relationships require work and in order to have an intimate relationship, one must be vulnerable to have the independence, emotional attachment and pleasurable satisfaction for their needs. This particular situation is hard for adult children just because of the way they were raised with the constant dysfunctional issues as far as unworthiness, dishonesty, and being loved adequately. The relationship will never flourish if the person won’t show their vulnerability to the significant other to resolve the deep dark issues.
Not to mention, the deep issues there is another issue that I must state is the fear of abandonment. Children of alcoholics will develop a debilitating fear of being abandoned because of the way their parents brought them up with all these other issues. Which will make people going into a toxic relationship that they should end but don’t end because of their fear of abandonment issues.
Alcoholism Is An Addiction. (2019, Nov 08).
Retrieved February 6, 2023 , from
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