I was born in Decatur Georgia, but before the age of 8 my family moved to Norcross Georgia. My mother grew up in Decatur Georgia and my father grew up in Clayton County. My parents felt like it was about that time to find better. I am convinced that they wanted to move more towards the north. My mother wanted better for my family. I have three brothers, so being in that environment wasn’t healthy for my brothers as black boys. I am the youngest out of my siblings. When we moved to a new city it was not a challenge for us. My family blended in with the community. However, we did have. some complaints here and there because some of the neighbors thought that we were in the wrong neighborhood. My parents had high expectations for my brothers and me. My brothers and me wanted to live the rough life because we thought it was cool, so of course we had our moments at school where we would get suspended or lead our peers into doing things that was done in our old community. My parents had obligations, parental control, and did not approve of some of our relationships with our peers. My family had some minor identity crisis that created conflicts.
An adolescent that grows up in a family where the family expectations, obligations, parental control, and relationships with peers, may encounter an identity crisis that creates conflicts with the family.
Family expectations for adolescents plays a vital role for their development. parents become blind-sided when they expect an adolescent to act the way they did as a child (Pickhardt, 2010). Parents expectations of their child’s development may not correspond to what’s at hand. As an adolescent a child is in their younger stages of adulthood. once a child enters adolescences, they tend to become private and less disclosing to parents for independence sake (Pickhardt,2010). Once a child gravitates to peer relationships the communication and connection with their parents tend to fade. An adolescent seeks more comfort when parents allows them to self-express, rather than giving the adolescent their expectations. With a child having restrictions regarding expectations can ultimately cause identity crisis and family crisis.
Parent control becomes less clear after a child becomes an adolescent. higher levels of autonomy could increase the opportunities for risky behaviors such as delinquency (Harris-McKoy,2012). Within this period of transition adolescents become less negotiable with their parents causing defiant attitudes. Regression shows that savage like parental control estimate higher results of conflicts within a family’s home (Garcia, 2018). Certain disciplinary styles may not connect with an adolescent emotion during their changes of age and life. Adolescents become less corporative when they disagree with the disciplinary actions of their parents.
Child and adolescent’s development cause complex interchanges within human evolvement and psychological adaption. Mental retardation was profound to be part of the psychiatrist’s field of adolescent’s obligations (“Roles and responsibilities of an adolescents, 1986.) Psychiatrists have found it hard to convey mental retardation in adolescents which causes a child to resist obligations. Adults holds conceptions of adolescents that they are rebellious and are oriented more towards their peers. Psychiatrists helps with early stages of challenging adolescents who are uncooperative to their parents when setting rules and guidelines. Parents tend to look pass testing for their child to seek further investigations on while their child is defiant and not obeying the obligations given.
Adolescents relationships with their peer excites them especially when they have become more venerable and emotionally intimate with one another. Adolescent peer groups expand and becomes more significant as their relationships with their families digress (An American Addiction Centers Resources n.d.). Once adolescents confide into one another they begin to have a bond within friendship. Most have a hard time with communicating with a parent so they’ll more likely turn to a friend for advice or a helping hand. Most adolescent tend to express themselves within relations with their peer group such as speech, dress, style, and behavior choices. Most would put this into a category of peer pressure but most times it is looked at in a rather positive way. Almost all adolescents peer groups have a distinguish style about themselves. They feed off each other through emotions. A parent may not be able to relate to an adolescent unlike their friends which could cause disarray within a home. Relationships with peers holds a significant role within child development. A parent that is unwilling to accept a child peer relationship could ultimately hinder bonds between a parent and child.
A child that is raised with restrictions from a family that constructs obligations, parental control, expectations, and peer relationships causes risk within development. Adolescent self-identity holds a major role not only in the child’s life but the family as well. Adolescents whether their race, culture, gender, etc. all wish for acceptance. Families tend to find it hard to accepts certain things with already having a vision of who they pictured their child to be. Once a child evolves into their own person conflicts may arise. In the community I grew up in everyone wanted to make it out. We have all had that hardship time in our lives. I am a pre-k teacher, I never thought that I would make it to this stage in my life. I am from east Atlanta and I work with children that still live in this community. They are not from Kirkwood where I was raised, but they are battling some of the frustrations my family and I had. I believe that I am where I am at today because my mother and father never gave up on faith. My parents lived in this area because my aunt offered them free living. My aunt did not believe in living separately from family. My mother grew up in the house that we all lived in. My aunt would provide everything for my parents, siblings, and I. I thought that my parents were struggling during this time, but it turned out that my aunt wouldn’t let my mother move out the house with my father until she saw the area my parents wanted to move in. My aunt thought the area was too far and that she wouldn’t be able to see her family anymore. Eventually my aunt came to conclusion that my mother had expectations for her children. My mother and father believed in my brothers and me. My parents wanted nothing but the best for our future. They believed the area we lived in would cause us to become drug addicts, drug dealers, gang bangers, and I would be pregnant before the age of 15. My brothers and I of course did not agree with my parents, but we had no choice. We moved out of my aunt’s house to Norcross. My parents eventually got the news that I liked girls and wouldn’t be getting pregnant at the age of 15, and of course this was the first time my brother ended up in jail. He decided to make the wrong decisions, while my other brother joined band. I believe that my family made the switch for the better, of course there is always a spoiled apple out of the bunch, but it helps me see that my mother and father wanted us to have the same education the white privileged kids had. Until this day my dad and mom would tell you that this is the life we have always had, and they wouldn’t trade it for nothing. I wouldn’t trade this life either because without moving I wouldn’t be a pre-k teacher and I wouldn’t have been able to go to college because most of my parent’s money would’ve been going towards bailing one of my siblings or myself out. Expectations and discipline comes with patients and understanding.
Adolescence and the problem of parental expectations. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201003/adolescence-and-the-problem-parental-expectations
Kunz, J. H., & Grych, J. H. (2013, April 01). Parental Psychological Control and Autonomy Granting: Distinctions and Associations with Child and Family Functioning. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3572750/
Teens And Peer Relationships. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/teens-and-peer-relationships/
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